Praise Specifically
“Criticize generally, praise specifically.”
This is one of my favorite quotes, and it is a critical lesson for anyone who aspires to leadership. That said, leadership is not my topic for this blog; gratitude is.
There are people in your life who have helped you along your journey. They’ve taught you valuable lessons, been there for you, given examples of humility, called your bluff, and maybe even changed your diapers when you were an infant. Those people often go without receiving the acknowledgement they so richly deserve. You may attend their social events, you’ve probably purchased one of a thousand mass-produced birthday cards from the box-store for them once per year, you’re quick reply “LOL” and send emojis, but have you ever really told them what they mean to you?
That is precisely what I’m going to do here. I’m going to tell some of the most treasured people in my life why I’m grateful for them, specifically.
Chloe, my Wife
Over the last 10 yrs you’ve helped me grow as a man in ways that I couldn’t possibly have foreseen. Your constant forward momentum and positive example for our niece, Addisyn, are unyielding and inspiring. I thoroughly enjoy our discussions on diverse topics. Thank you for being a key player in challenging my mental models and calling out weakness where you see it. Your challenging personality has caused me to further stoke my own fires of personal growth beyond that which already naturally existed. This quest has already and will forever yield compounding returns. Thank you.
Addisyn, my Niece
Addi, I don’t know when you’ll ever read this. You’re 9 now, and not likely to be reading Medium posts but I know that someday you’ll find this, and I want it to be clear that you mean the world to me.
In only 9 yrs, and without conscious intent, you’ve changed my idea of who I am as a person, a man, and a leader. You’ve given me more reasons than I could have imagined to strive for continuous improvement. Seeing the world from your perspective has grown my empathy and taught me patience; lots and lots of patience. Watching you grow has taught me to cherish every. single. moment — and I do.
While you may not carry my biological genes, you’ll always be my little girl. I love you. Thank you.
Wayne, my Dad
I’m forever grateful for the opportunity to work with you at W4. I’ve learned a lot as we’ve actively tested each other’s patience more times than I can count. You’ve directly and indirectly given me many lessons, knowledge, and wisdom that I used every single day. Thank you for putting up with me and always being there. You have a great heart, and have created a legacy to live up to. Thank you.
Dian, my Mom
You have an incredibly generous soul. You’re dedicated, loyal, caring, and kind, almost to a fault. We have such wonderful memories together, and I cherish all of them.
Carson, my Friend
You hold me to a higher standard. You have raw talent and a drive that so few possess and/or can employ to meaningful effect. You ask the hard questions that I haven’t yet thought of and you’re quick to spot orthogonal opportunity. You add value to every conversation, and have freely given thoughts that challenged and changed my mental models. They say that you’re the average of the 5 people with whom you spend the most time; and I’m grateful that you’re in my group of 5. Up and to the right, buddy. Thank you.
Jesse, my Friend
You’ve helped me learn what it means to be a friend. Not just an acquaintance, a friend. Rarely in life does a person forge a relationship to the extent that the friends may refer to each other as siblings. We’ve had our fair share of disagreements, and we’ve driven each other crazy sometimes, but I love and respect you for it. Your friendship in indescribably valuable to me and I’ll always be grateful to have you in my life. Thank you.
Adam, my Friend
Adam, you’ve taught me that complaining is not an option. Period. In spite of your challenges you maintain a positive attitude, eager laugh, and easy-going sense of humor. You’re an inspiring example in many ways, and I’m grateful that you’re in my life. Thank you.
Justin, my Friend
We’ve been through a lot, yet you’ve never wavered. You’re there to help regardless of the situation. Your support is tremendously important, and I appreciate that. Thank you.
Lori, my Mother-in-Law
I’m grateful to have you in my life because you’ve shown the kind of grace that so few possess or express. I always enjoy our conversations; Conversations which I can have with so few people. I love that we both have a desire and quest for more knowledge in such a wide variety of subjects. Thank you.
Art Chadwick, a life Mentor
You taught me humility, silent respect, and to say “I don’t know.” This three-word phrase is powerful, and I don’t know when I would have learned it had you not been there to set a strong example. You showed me that a person who can say “I don’t know” is trustworthy, confident, and capable of non-egoistic objective thought. You’ve played such an important role in my life that you were the first person I thought of to officiate at my wedding. I value every conversation we’ve ever had, and I always look forward to seeing you again. I miss the many days we spent together in the deserts, mountains, tundra, and prairies. Thank you.
Richard and Lori Harkom, my Friends
You’ve accepted me into your family in an incredibly meaningful and valuable way. You treat me not just as a friend, but as a son, and I can’t tell you how much that means to me. I love both of you, and I can’t wait to see you again soon. Skin that griz, Richard. Thank you.
There are other people who certainly deserve to be on this list, and it is no fault of their own that they may not be individually named here. There are those who shaped me, gave me advice, spanked me as a child when I most certainly deserved the punishment, taught me, and loved me. Teachers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and others. To all of you, I am forever grateful and I apologize for not listing you all individually.
I personally challenge everyone who reads this to go out, and create your own list of special people. Tell them “thank you.” If the thought of doing this makes you uncomfortable, perhaps you should take that as a sign that you need this exercise more than you thought. 😜
#gratitudechallenge
